Kythen was vaguely aware of people around him, frantic voices and bustle as orders were called out and immediately followed. And the pain. Pain in his whole body, engulfing him, dragging him in and out of darkness. And then....nothing.
He woke some time later and the first thing he became aware of was how very quiet things were. Aside from the beep and buzz of machinery there was silence. No voices, no people rushing around him. The pain he was in was lessened but not gone completely. It was still there, just dulled by medications he assumed. He lay there in silence, eyes closed and unmoving, and remembered how he'd ended up where he was now. He'd made a lot of mistakes in a short amount of time. Gotten into drugs and drinking, slept around and lost his girlfriend because of it. That had been what pushed him over the edge; losing Jessie. He'd been.....accepting of her choice at first, but watching her date other guys and finally seeing him with a guy he knew would never treat her the way she deserved had been too much. He loved her. He'd been so stupid to do what he'd done and now everything he'd once had was gone. So he'd waited, dosed himself with drugs and late that rainy night, had driven his truck into the ravine by the river. He could claim it was an accident, a combination of drugs and slippery roads, but the truth of the matter was that.....it wasn't. It had been very deliberate. And unsuccessful considering he was in a hospital room and not dead like he'd intended. But no one could ever know that. He couldn't bear the shame of admitting that he had tried, and failed, to kill himself.
He shifted and gave a soft whine as it sent a wave of pain through him and he resisted the urge to try and huddle in on himself when he heard voices. Voices he recognized. He forced his eyes open and blinked blearily at his parents as they moved into view. They looked tired and he wondered how long he'd been out of it. They also looked relieved. Which suggested maybe he'd come closer than he thought to dying. Or maybe it was just a requirement for parents to look relieved simply because their oldest child was injured and not dead. Badly injured and alive had to be better than badly injured and dead he supposed. But couldn't they look even a little disappointed in him for what he'd done? They had to have known he'd been on drugs when the....'accident'....had happened. Weren't they disappointed he hadn't been more careful? It occurred to him that it was stupid to want one's parents to be disappointed in you. But in some twisted way, it was better to see them disappointed because he'd screwed up then to see the relief they felt that he was alive and know how much it would have hurt them if he'd died. And, because he wasn't thinking entirely clearly, that thought made him wonder if Jessie knew and how she felt about it. Would she come visit him? She'd hardly even looked at him since they'd broken up. Did she care at all that he was lying in the hospital? And where was Jeremiah? His brother should have been there but there was no sign of him.
He shifted again and turned his head away so he didn't have to look at his parents. They seemed surprised and a little hurt but they moved off and left him alone. Maybe they thought he was still out of it or that he was just tired. Who knew but he really didn't want to try talking to them right then. And he was kind of tired. So he closed his eye and sleep claimed him once again.
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